Firstly, I would like to apologise for the lack of funny, light hearted entertainment brought to you by my blog – but I’ve had a touch of the old writer’s block.
Secondly, you’ve guessed it- I’m back but with a twist! I am on a mission to TRY and update my blog more regularly… AND with a few different things, after all you guys can only take a certain amount of hearing me babble on about my belly bulge!
So, what exactly am I going to blog about!?!?!?
Well, after much deliberation I am still the Good Food Guzzler and my life does largely revolve around my stomach! So there will still be the odd update on the healthy living (or lack of it!) lifestyle but with a few new/helpful/funny/exciting things to go along side.
What sort of things I hear you scream!!
Well, I’m a single girl with a rather lovely sister who likes to treat me with dinners out, concert tickets, random weekends of fun and lots more. And you will be able to read all about it here - the great food I eat (and make! Yes, I cook and I’m rather good at it - if you’ve never tried my home made mince pies then your definitely missing out!), the amazing times had at some the countries biggest concerts (Michael McIntyre and Alesha Dixon coming up), my reviews of the newest and best products in the shops and not forgetting all the laughs, tears, tantrums and adventures that occur from living with a dopey puppy, temperamental cat and sometimes stroppy sister!
So where can you see all this new stuff?
That's easy - click here
I hope you’re all as excited as I am! That’s all for now folks so check out the new blog and I’ll see you on the other side! X
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Friday, 7 August 2009
Not so funny...
If one more person asks if I’m pregnant, they’re going home with a black eye!
While I can see why they ask - my stomach has swelled into a big, podgy, ugly, boated balloon- its not the outcome of some passionate love affair with a tall dark stranger but in fact the effects of an illness/poorly tummy.
Being ill has always put me in two minds…. on one hand I tend to go for days without food, drinking only water – this is great for the diet, after all when your eating 0 calories your bound to lose something right?
On the other hand, when I’m seriously ill it’s my mum who always comes to the rescue and if there’s one type of food I love then its Mums! From toast to home made Chilli, it’s just always better – this is not great for the diet and as I often go up for seconds…. or fifths!
With my latest illness it was definitely a “mum to the rescue” situation. Since mid July I have suffered excruciating aches, pains and cramps that have left me in tears, depressed and doubled over in pain. But just last week the pain was at an all time high and as the little red digits of my bedroom clocked flashed 3.30am I did the only thing I could think of – I called my Mum!
She had soon packed me into the car and we were well on our way to A&E. After a couple of tests it was all put down to an infection that resulted in things becoming inflamed and causing my muscles to spasm from my lower abdomen all the way up to my chest. I was barely able to move – I couldn’t sit, stand, lay or walk! Breathing wasn’t easy and everything I ate and drank soon came up! Unable to do anything for myself my mum insisted on me moving back home until I was able to look after myself.
Now I’ve heard many people say (well mainly uni go-ers to be honest - but they just dont like the fact that they wont be able to drink beer for breakfast and then pee in the bottle throughout the day rather than going to the toilet!) that once you’ve lived away from home, its horrible moving back with the parents!
But if I’m honest – I loved it! Not just because I was waited on hand and foot but because everything was soooo much clearer and easier, just like when I was younger.
My eyes flickered around my old teenage bedroom. It’s a tiny room, just over a metre in length and width - but the memories it brought back were big! From those where I used to sit and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Dean Cain in his blue tights, or where I used to spread all my paper out on the bed as I did my coursework.
As I sat back in that bed and watch that TV again there was one thing that I came to the forefront of my mind – back in those days I never gave a rats arse about my body image!
It’s a thought that has stuck with me – why did I not care back then?? Even the likes of boy trouble and appearance woes never bothered me in my slightly younger days. Then it hit me like Mike Tyson throwing a right hook! Because of mum! I had spent the last week propped up on her sofa – all smelly, pale and spotty– and yet she would always be the first to give me a cuddle, a peck on the cheek or a gentle massage on my achy back.
It doesn’t matter how I look, smell, act, how much I weigh - she loves me all the same! Wash board stomach or belly bulge – it doesn’t make the slightest difference and when I have someone around like that it suddenly doesn’t matter to me either!
I’m now back at my home. I may not be 100% healthy yet but my mind is 100% certain when I say that the diet is over! The exercise is off! And I’m feeling more positive and happy in myself than I have in ages! I love my food and intend to eat whatever I fancy (just in moderation- hopefully) but I’m not sure I’ll be able to top the last week….
After all I have spent the week at mums and have enjoyed all her home cooking – it was gorgeous, totally indulgent – probably because it has a little love added to it!
**The Good Food Guzzler is aware that this blog is not as funny as her previous ones- but if your had crippling cramps in your belly and shooting pains up your arse you may have lost a little humour too!
***The Good Food Guzzler would also like to confirm that although she has mentioned on a couple of occassions that she smells she can confirm that she has since showered (and washed her hair too).
Monday, 6 July 2009
And the answer ....
Well if the weekly shopping list I wrote straight after my last blog is anything to go by then NO! No, i still do not care!
After 8 glorious, fun, relaxing weeks of indulgent feasting I was beginning to feel less like a sexy feline and more like a fat cat! So with that in mind the cakes, biscuits, chips, pizza have all hit the high road and its been hello to salads, stirfrys, fruit and that horrible stuff called veg.
But as every friend... sibling... parent... grandparent... stranger in the street... will tell you : "You aint gonna lose any weight by keeping your fat lazy ar** on the sofa!" Well, after hearing this on more than one occassion and from more than one person I quickly hit the ground running...... to the laptop that is! Where I disappointly found website after website that confirmed - exercise is essential, damn!
And so, on went the ipod, on went the headband, on went my tiny "look at my butt cheeks" shorts (which were wedging themselves firmly up my derriere) and on went my slightly baggy England footie shirt as I tempted to sweat it out on the Lateral Thigh Trainer. 10 minutes later and i could really feel the burn! Yep, my chunky, chubby thighs had started to rub from the get go and the friction was close to starting a bush fire!
[Please note: The last sentence may make The Good Food Guzzler sound a bit of a hairy mary but she does confirm that her garden is well trimmed and is rather fond of the Brazilian. Anyway back to blog]
Needless to say the first evening of exercise hadnt got off to the best start and it wasnt long til I was showered and sitting in bed with a hot chocolate (no whippy cream on top though! Look at me go!)
Its been a whole 7 (and a half) days since I started this new healthy eating and exercising debacle and I have to say it been alright... yes, just alright. Im eating enough healthy stuff to keep me full and satisfied and thanks to good old baby powder my thighs glide past one another without the need for Fireman Sam to be on call.
So here I am heading into week 2....optimistic that I can go another week without a Dominos, and dissapointed that after the last week my belly is still there!
After 8 glorious, fun, relaxing weeks of indulgent feasting I was beginning to feel less like a sexy feline and more like a fat cat! So with that in mind the cakes, biscuits, chips, pizza have all hit the high road and its been hello to salads, stirfrys, fruit and that horrible stuff called veg.
But as every friend... sibling... parent... grandparent... stranger in the street... will tell you : "You aint gonna lose any weight by keeping your fat lazy ar** on the sofa!" Well, after hearing this on more than one occassion and from more than one person I quickly hit the ground running...... to the laptop that is! Where I disappointly found website after website that confirmed - exercise is essential, damn!
And so, on went the ipod, on went the headband, on went my tiny "look at my butt cheeks" shorts (which were wedging themselves firmly up my derriere) and on went my slightly baggy England footie shirt as I tempted to sweat it out on the Lateral Thigh Trainer. 10 minutes later and i could really feel the burn! Yep, my chunky, chubby thighs had started to rub from the get go and the friction was close to starting a bush fire!
[Please note: The last sentence may make The Good Food Guzzler sound a bit of a hairy mary but she does confirm that her garden is well trimmed and is rather fond of the Brazilian. Anyway back to blog]
Needless to say the first evening of exercise hadnt got off to the best start and it wasnt long til I was showered and sitting in bed with a hot chocolate (no whippy cream on top though! Look at me go!)
Its been a whole 7 (and a half) days since I started this new healthy eating and exercising debacle and I have to say it been alright... yes, just alright. Im eating enough healthy stuff to keep me full and satisfied and thanks to good old baby powder my thighs glide past one another without the need for Fireman Sam to be on call.
So here I am heading into week 2....optimistic that I can go another week without a Dominos, and dissapointed that after the last week my belly is still there!
Friday, 26 June 2009
Major Error!
"He'd eat sh*t if it were sugared!"
My nan once used these 7 words to describe my grandad and it seems this talent was passed onto me. After my last blog post (in which i declared not to care and to eat whatever i wanted whenever i wanted) its a total understatement to say i have gobbled more than my fair share of crap!
But unsurprisingly my "i dont care- im gonna eat what i want when i want" idea was a major faux par - after two weeks i decided to pull out the scales and nearly fell flat on my arse when i read the figures beaming up at me! It was not good.
That was a couple of weeks ago and its still not good! I havent dared to set foot on the scales again but i did try (if only for a day or two) to eat a tad more sensible- only it just didnt work and now the three course meals, pizzas and curries are starting to show. Most women would cry over this, however, for me.....
.....the few weeks of careless gobbling has resulted in one perk, oops sorry - make that two, as my breasts seem to have taken on alot of the extra weight- result! Hee hee!
I am highly ashamed, and maybe admitting this is not the best idea either, but i have found myself dressing to show off my bigger assets in an attempt to advert eyes from the less attractive areas. And if the stroll i took with my sister through Cambridge is anything to go by it seems to work a treat.... men, women, men with there girlfriends, dogs- you name it they looked! I really should have charged for the pleasure, i'd be rolling in it!
But great boobs or not, the jeans are feeling tighter, the face is looking fuller and im becoming more insecure and angry - although i dont mind the twins being seen on the town: the muffin top and belly bulge hanging over the trousers is not my desired look.
So, here i am updating my blog for the first time in a very long while and im wondering.... Should i take it easy on the food? Should i eat more healthy before its too late? Would i be happier if i was still my slimmer self? DO I STILL NOT CARE???
My nan once used these 7 words to describe my grandad and it seems this talent was passed onto me. After my last blog post (in which i declared not to care and to eat whatever i wanted whenever i wanted) its a total understatement to say i have gobbled more than my fair share of crap!
But unsurprisingly my "i dont care- im gonna eat what i want when i want" idea was a major faux par - after two weeks i decided to pull out the scales and nearly fell flat on my arse when i read the figures beaming up at me! It was not good.
That was a couple of weeks ago and its still not good! I havent dared to set foot on the scales again but i did try (if only for a day or two) to eat a tad more sensible- only it just didnt work and now the three course meals, pizzas and curries are starting to show. Most women would cry over this, however, for me.....
.....the few weeks of careless gobbling has resulted in one perk, oops sorry - make that two, as my breasts seem to have taken on alot of the extra weight- result! Hee hee!
I am highly ashamed, and maybe admitting this is not the best idea either, but i have found myself dressing to show off my bigger assets in an attempt to advert eyes from the less attractive areas. And if the stroll i took with my sister through Cambridge is anything to go by it seems to work a treat.... men, women, men with there girlfriends, dogs- you name it they looked! I really should have charged for the pleasure, i'd be rolling in it!
But great boobs or not, the jeans are feeling tighter, the face is looking fuller and im becoming more insecure and angry - although i dont mind the twins being seen on the town: the muffin top and belly bulge hanging over the trousers is not my desired look.
So, here i am updating my blog for the first time in a very long while and im wondering.... Should i take it easy on the food? Should i eat more healthy before its too late? Would i be happier if i was still my slimmer self? DO I STILL NOT CARE???
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Who am I?
I remember when an ex-boyfriend once placed his hand on my stomach and said “Ahh my baby!" Now this upset me for two reasons…. One, I wasn’t pregnant and babies are not my thing and two, I already knew that I had a belly bulge and didn’t need him pointing out how much bigger it seemed to be getting.
You see I absolutely love food and will eat pretty much anything. Whether its healthy or fatty, big or small, needed or not, I cant seem to stop myself. I think about it - then I’ll want it - then I’ll have it!
I’m a healthy looking size 12 and when taking into account the amount of food that I tend to guzzle down I’m very lucky be the size and shape I am, but I do have a belly bulge (which okay can make me look a tad like I’m expecting) and many dimples of cellulite on my as bottom.
Like many others I tried to eat less and exercise more - it didn’t work, so I decided to eat even less and exercise even more - still didn’t work! And now, one day after returning from a holiday full of drinks and food, I have come to the realisation that maybe I’m always going to look like this and that there is really no point in worrying about it.
So, you wonder who I am. I’m a young, single, fun loving, good food guzzling girl who has decided to ditch the diets and live life on the slightly larger side and see what happens!
You see I absolutely love food and will eat pretty much anything. Whether its healthy or fatty, big or small, needed or not, I cant seem to stop myself. I think about it - then I’ll want it - then I’ll have it!
I’m a healthy looking size 12 and when taking into account the amount of food that I tend to guzzle down I’m very lucky be the size and shape I am, but I do have a belly bulge (which okay can make me look a tad like I’m expecting) and many dimples of cellulite on my as bottom.
Like many others I tried to eat less and exercise more - it didn’t work, so I decided to eat even less and exercise even more - still didn’t work! And now, one day after returning from a holiday full of drinks and food, I have come to the realisation that maybe I’m always going to look like this and that there is really no point in worrying about it.
So, you wonder who I am. I’m a young, single, fun loving, good food guzzling girl who has decided to ditch the diets and live life on the slightly larger side and see what happens!
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